Holding hands is just holding hands. It doesn't mean anything. Kissing passionately is just kissing passionately. Nothing else. Amazing sex is just amazing sex. Period.
I think I need to be more cynical about love and relationships. I tell my friends that they need to be vulnerable for love to find them. It's absurd. Even I can't listen to my own advice. From experience, it clearly doesn't work! Why do I have to change myself for someone to like me for who I am? Doesn't that defeat the purpose? Stupid, I'd say.
I had my fair share of stupidity. I pretended or had to be drunk just to get a guy's attention. I drove 400 miles just to get my heart broken. Fuck, I even had unprotected sex because I trusted the guy. Luckily, there hasn't been any major damage, perhaps only a hangover, getting pulled over by a cop, and no... not HIV or STDs, but a broken heart.
Ultimately, my biggest mistake... my worst trait is being too gullible. I believe everything a guy says. I look for the signs I learned from watching Disney movies, fairytales. He smiles all the time, he must like me. He opens the door for me, he is super sweet. He holds my hands, he totally wants to be with me. He's a great kisser, he is the one.
How do you know he is the one? Oh, you know! I am always so happy when I am with him. He makes me feel so comfortable. I have butterflies in my stomach every time I think about him.
Trust me. Men are great listeners. They know what to say every time a girl fails to keep her poker face. I am a bad liar, and my emotions show my real feelings. He will say lies to make me feel better, make sure he doesn't lose me. A girl tells him she loves his smiles, he will smile all the time. A dating coach from "Millionaire Matchmaker" tells a man that chivalry will get him laid, he will open the door all the time. A girl giggles when a boy holds her hands, he will hold her hands all the time. Great kisser? He's had a lot of practice! Make sure you ask him how many girls he's been with, does he hook up, etc.?
Never again. When a guy smiles, I will ask him why he's smiling. If he tells me, "Because you're beautiful." BULLSHIT! When a guy opens the door for me, I will tell him he doesn't have to open the door for me. I am capable. If he insists, BULLSHIT! When a guy holds my hands, I will ask him to stop holding my hands because it's misleading, confusing. If he says "I like holding your hands," BULLSHIT! If he kisses me great, I will ask him how many girls he's been with. If he says "you are the only girl I want to kiss," BULLSHIT!
So, the next time a guy holds my hands... kisses me passionately...gives me amazing sex? It doesn't mean anything. It's all BULLSHIT!
the day i texted david who told me he's never going to be happy with me because I don't have that thing guy's go crazy for. he added "I think you deserve more than what you settle for." BULLSHIT!
xoxo,
Jas
