Wish me luck! I need my hormones!

I will need it. Well, not just for hormones but also for a better endocrinologist.

I have an appointment with a new endocrinologist tomorrow to figure out my transition status. If you're not familiar with transgender terms, I will define 'transition' as someone's progress towards a goal. In my case, to become a woman... pretty self-explanatory.

You may be asking why I would need an endocrinologist. He watches my Estrogen and Spirolactone intake to prevent any liver complications. He consults and gives me the best options to better meet my goals. From this appointment, I hope to finally find a permanent endocrinologist who will help me with my transition and who will not create barriers to accessing my health needs.

If you know me well -- actually, not a lot of people do because I am quite reserved when it comes to these topics -- you probably have heard about my frustration about accessing quality health care as a transgirl here in San Diego . I am not sure whyI did not have any problems when I was in the Bay Area, but now... its so hard to get hormones from freaking Kaiser!

This is extremely troublesome to me because its a lot easier to get hormones from the black market, under-the-table sort of thing. I remember when I first started taking hormones, I just did my research and I started self-medicating, which I now consider hella scary. The first time I got my bloodwork done, my estrogen level was about 3500, which is 8 times the normal (I am not a mathematician, don't judge!). A pregnant woman's estrogen level is usually about 400. High estrogen levels may cause breast cancer and high spirolactone dosage destroys the liver.

Now, I get a better understanding of what is going on in my body as a medical professional explains every sitauation. I do bloodwork every three months to make sure that everything is normal, and it makes me a lot more comfortable, especially with the risk that I am putting myself in. So, I have been looking for a better endocrinologist -- someone who understands and advocate for transgender girls like me -- for the past 8 months and hopefully this is the last.

Let me do a quick comparison overview of my experiences trying to get hormones from the Bay Area and San Diego.

When I was in the Bay Area, it did not have any problem finding someone to help me with my transition. My primary physician understood that I have been taking hormones for the past 2 years and I already look like a woman. He even asked me if I am FTM (female-to-male), but I am the opposite. MTF (male-to-female). He made me happy everytime I went to my appointments because I know I have someone caring for me. He even suggested to go to psychiatrist, if I think I needed it. I know I don't, but I really like that it wasn't a requirement to make sure this is what I want. I really miss the Bay. There are hella resources available there, plus there are more sensitive providers there!

Here in San Diego, primary physician was not knowledgeable about the transgender population and our needs. She quickly referred me to a general endocrinologist. When I saw my endocrinologist, she made me really uncomfortable, questioning me why I want to do this and telling me to go to a psychiatrist to make sure this is what I want. I explained to her three times that I've lived the last 4 years as a woman, and why would she think I would go back now. I wouldn't invest those years if I am just going to change my mind. She asked me to see a psychiatrist so that she can prescribe me hormones, so I did. When I saw a psychiatrist, they told me that they don't do psychological evaluations for transgender girls. I was so pissed. I wasted my time, energy, hopes, and a freakin' $20 copay just to be rejected like that. She was no help at all. It sucks when they just keep referring me out like that. I finally asked to be switched out and referred to someone else. She hella stopped my prescription which made me hella irritated. Am I suppose to stop taking my hormones and start over again when I find someone else?

Well, I am going to my appointment tomorrow to figure it out. Wish me luck! I hope all goes well.


xoxo,

Jas

PS.
There's a Trans Clinic here in San Diego, it's called Project Star! However, I am not sure how accessible it is. It is only by appointment, and I've called their phone number hella times and left a voicemail. No answer, no return calls! :l