Papsmears?!

I enjoy my job as a Domestic Violence Counselor. I work very closely with empowered and empowering women. I appreciate this position a lot because I am a woman, and I am helping other women. I especially love my job because the term women includes transgender individuals. I was going to say transgender women, but who determines whether trans-men are considered women? I know, trans-men probably would prefer to identify and be referred to as men... but in terms of getting the proper services, I believe that it shouldn't matter.

Let's look at the health needs of these two populations, for example. Transgirls (women born in a male body) still needs to get prostate exams-, while transmen (men born in a female body) still need to get pap smears among other things. Of course, unless I've done surgery... then I am not sure. I would think I wouldn't because I don't have those parts anymore... but, would I need to get papsmears? Not sure either, so don't take my word for it. I am confident that one thing I would have to use post-SRS is 10in, 14in, and I don't know how much more I can take dilators. Anyway, I am always reminded of this topic because whenever I set up an appointment or go to Kaiser, they would ask me if I would like to get a pap smear as I am long overdue. I wouldn't need a papsmear, but my record is of a female and they would have to keep asking me the same question. I just brush it off by saying, "Uhhh, not for now... maybe next time!" Sometimes I get an occasional, "But, you're overdue!" I respond back, "It's okay. I don't have time for it now." Honestly, this conversation makes me really uncomfortable. A part of me likes that I am seen as a girl, but another part of me doesn't know how to respond. I still need my prostate exam, but that is something that I can do myself. However, sometimes I don't trust myself... so I just go to my physician who already knows or my endocrinologist who is watching my hormone levels. Ultimately, not everyone at the hospital needs to know... even if they did, most of them are not trained to deal with awesome girls like me!

On another incident, I remember going to the Berkeley Free Clinic and seeking HIV- and STD- testing services. It was during Men's testing day. I still needed to get those services, so I disclosed my gender identity with them. I may be wrong to have done this, but I needed to get tested and it would be the same thing when I go to a women's day. It is frustrating because the person assigning the had to tell everyone I had to see, but it was understandable especially as he specifically selected practitioners who are sensitive to the issue. It's great because in clinics like these employees are educated and trained on the issue, progressive as I would say, so I didn't feel like I was being judged or stared at for such a long time. So I didn't mind it at all. Hopefully someday, all services will be accessible like this!

OMG, so I started this blog entry with how I love my job as a domestic violence counselor. I really enjoy it, but sometimes I can't help but wonder what the clients are thinking. Do they know? Do they have an idea? Are they comfortable with a transgirl (someone who is still biologically male) in a women's space? I will never know until one of them will say something about it. For now, I constantly have to watch myself, what I look like and what I do, how I talk and how I express myself. This is crazy thinking, but it's something that doesn't easily go away... unless I become Jasmine officially.

xoxo,

Jas