Happiness

I am extremely happy with where I am, career- and personal life-wise. I have been with my boyfriend for six months now, and he makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Although we encountered a huge misunderstanding last month, we were able to move on from it and become a stronger couple. I am really glad that I met him, even in the not-so-conventional way. As I said before, he doesn't make me feel different, yet he's still able to make me feel special.

When I first started dating, I was conflicted with the idea of being objectified and eroticized as a sexual deviant. I did not want to date a homosexual man nor a straight man who fetishizes transgender women. I am a heterosexual woman, and I deserve to find love. My current boyfriend gives me that. I am attracted to him physically and mentally. He makes me happy, and seeing him smile makes me feel good. I am happiest with him, but that's not all that makes me happy.

Last month, I quit my job and it is by far the most courageous decision of my life. I say courageous because I lost my primary source of income. However, I feel that I couldn't be stuck and I needed to move on. I am currently working on my personal statement to apply for a MA in Women's Studies at SDSU, and I am extremely excited for positive news in the next couple of months. I hope to be accepted so that I can learn more about myself and my transgender identity, then be a leader in advocating for transgender rights. I battled with this idea ever since I made the decision to transition, because I wanted to live my life as a woman but being involved in transgender activism will deter me from living my life as one. I realized that my transgender identity does not define me, but gives me a unique perspective. I hope to utilize this perspective to become a voice in the community and guide other transgender youth toward their dreams. I look forward to be given an opportunity to advance my leadership skills and knowledge at SDSU, if given the chance.

I am also attending a local community college, and I will be taking prerequisites for nursing. It is my back-up plan, just in case the MA doesn't work out. I am constantly working towards a satisfying career, rewarding both monetarily and mentally.

I have also been working towards personal growth. I am working out and eating healthy to regain a beautiful body and full health. I want to shape my body toward my desired health. I also am working towards looking more feminine as I wait for my 24th birthday to finally change my gender marker. I will get back to working with my endocrinologist and psychiatrist to help me get back on track toward becoming a woman.

I am happy where I am, and I will get to where I want to be as long as I continue to work towards my goals.

xoxo,

Jas