Chivalry?

Yes, I admit... I appreciate chivalry despite my strong beliefs in feminist theory and activism. It may as well be a double standard: while I advocate efforts to empower women and help them become self-sufficient and independent citizens, I would still want a man to open the door for me, walk side-by-side to protect me, etc. Perhaps, I am suffering from the effects of the media that perpetuates gender norms and ultimately permeates institutional oppression, but I know that there is nothing wrong with a man making a woman feel good.

Although I asked my boyfriend not to give me flowers or chocolates, it would be nice if he did. I know that he listens, which is the best trait a guy could have. However, I would love it if he challenges my beliefs and does the sweetest things without the direction of others. Traditions should not encourage him to give me all these things, but he should give me flowers because each petals are perfect and it reminds him of me. I only ask that he does things for his own reasons. Yes, I can open a door, get myself flowers, or protect myself... but it feels amazing when someone else does that for me because it's his way of saying that he loves me.

My boyfriend does not do all these things, but he still somehow makes me happy. The simplest smile is the best thing that I want to keep seeing all the time. I love waking up next to him and cuddling with him in the morning. I want to make him as happy as he makes me. I feel that in relationships, happiness should be given from both sides. Instead of giving me ideal happiness, my boyfriend is different. He is real: he tells me when I am wrong and he motivates me. Today, we went running because I have been telling him that I need to lose weight. Somehow I feel like I shouldn't be so honest, because when I point out my flaws... the more they become apparent. He does tell me I am beautiful, but also supports me and tells me that he will help me get to my goal. He also helps me understand that everything should not be rushed and encourages me to be patient. He seriously makes me feel like the luckiest girl on earth. I love this feeling!

My boyfriend and I are going back to school next week, so we are both financially responsible. We either go dutch most of the time... or he pays for one meal then I pay the other. I always date this way, no matter who/what/where/when/why it may be. I feel like it is the best arrangement! Here is where chivalry is irrelevant. I feel that as an empowered woman, I am capable of paying for myself and I like having the opportunity to pay for dates. I demonstrate that I am an independent woman. It is my ideal relationship because we are not co-dependent on each other.

I love that he supports me and I support him. I love that he listens and I listen. We don't do it because it is give and take... I do it because I like him and I know he does it for the same reason. This week, he let me speak about my experiences as a transgender woman, and it was the best moment thus far! I didn't get any questions, but I did get words of wisdom. He is amazing!

I am not sure what this blog means. I thought about it... and I know I said I will never write something about someone I care deeply about. However, I am not taking about him, but merely my experiences in my current relationship. I care about him a lot, and like I said already... I feel like I am the luckiest girl!

xoxo,

Jas

PS. One of my NY resolutions is writing a blog post at least once a month, which may be more because I have too much time on my hands. LOL